Family

I was out with friends for some half off appetizers at Applebees when the “girlfriend” of one of the guys got brought up.  He claimed that she “wasn’t his girlfriend” and after that comment, the typical “oh yeah, sure she’s not” conversation proceeded. When someone asked when she was coming in to town to visit, I was quick point out that no one brings a girl home without dating her.  I teased him about it a little bit but then his response stopped me. He said “Actually, I really want to know what my family has to say before we start dating.” Stop. Take a note. This rocks!

If your family is even slightly close to each other, they know you better than anybody. They can usually tell right away if she, or in my case he, isn’t good for you. Take their advice and listen to what they have to say!

It’s respectful and shows the character of the guy when he wants to know what the people closest to him have to say. It means he’s not blindly getting into anything based only on emotions; he’s taking it seriously. I feel like that is something a lot of people miss; the aspect of seriousness that dating should have. It should be the time you use to find out whether you are going to marry the person; not just play around with them.

Through the comment that “Steven” made, he gained my respect. I think the way he is handling the relationship is awesome and very encouraging! I also felt bad about teasing him because my thought was “oh, he’s just another guy afraid of commitment and doesn’t know what he thinks about it all.” When the reality was the exact opposite! So, “Steven”, if you read this…Sorry about that! :)

Sexual Healing

This guy did an awesome job! I love it! He is deep in a very tangible and understandable way.

 

Could You Shake His Hand?

“Above all, I just want to do what God wants me to do… and I want to be able to come out of this relationship and be able to shake her husbands hand and look him in the eye”- a very wise friend of mine

This is a crazy statement to me. This statement screams man of God. Could you honestly say that you treat your relationship with your girlfriend in a way that neither of you will regret later? Are you treating her like you want your future wife to be treated by her boyfriends before you? Just some food for thought. What do you think?

Beauty

I recently asked some girls a question on facebook and wanted to share their answers with you! Our world constantly tells us how imperfect and plain we are but you can help change that. Here’s what some girls had to say.

What can guys do to make you feel beautiful and special?

“Standing up for you when another guy says something rude.” -Ivy

“For me, when my brothers and Dad give me a hug it definitely makes me feel loved and beautiful. It totally depends on the girl/love language, but when guys treat girls with brotherly love and respect and aren’t rude or perverted, when they build them up in Christ, ask what they can be praying about, etc.. it makes girls feel special/loved and beautiful in the right way. Its always nice to have someone tell you that you are beautiful, but it is potentially very inappropriate for a guy to go telling all his girl friends that all the time. haha I think this question is also contingent on whether you are talking about a dating relationship or a friendship. Because if you are in a relationship then a guy telling his girlfriend she is beautiful is totally appropriate. :-)” -Aubrey

“Geniunely caring when your struggling and just listening.” -Abby

“Just holding me when I cry-not talking or asking what’s wrong-just holding me and giving me a shoulder to cry on” -Brandi

“Noticing the natural parts of your beauty and saying it is always nice…rather than the comments that could be made about your jewlrey or the clothes your wearing.. sure those things make might make you feel good but I would rather hear about the nature beauty that every girl has :) … the parts that no girl has to try for.” -Stacey

“Being looked at in the eyes when I’m talking. That means the world to me.” Whitney

What do you think about what these girls had to say?

Check this out! I think this is really cool. A highschool wrestler defaults because he doesn’t think it’s right to go up against a girl. He even gives up a chance at the state title! Woah! He says it’s because he respects her and it goes against his religious views. This guy is hardcore.

Devo 18

I’ve been thinking about what it means to love lately.  To love, means to be like Christ, and according to 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, I fail-everyday. I think of the people that I come in contact with; co-workers and customers, friends and family, or the complete stranger at Wal*mart. What are somethings I can do to show these people love? I can smile and be friendly, I can help them and do things for them, I can respect them, I can be patient and courteous, and speak to them in a way that says ‘I have time for you’. I feel that one of the best ways to show Godly love toward someone is simply going out of your way for them and letting them know you care. It doesn’t have to be extravagant or pricey, just heartfelt and sincere. And it doesn’t have to be someone you know. Just someone you come in contact with.

Just a short little snap shot of what I’ve been thinking lately. I find that when I try to love and treat people like Christ, there is satisfaction. It makes me feel good, to make others feel good or brighten their day. I am blessed and encouraged by it!

Any thoughts?

Lead Me

Leadership. It’s your role, take it.

I once wrote a post about nice guys. But guys should not simply be “nice guys.” Yes, you should be gentlemen and be kind to people, but the words “nice guy” tends to carry the connotation of  weakness. Men of God are not weak, they fight, they lead, and they take risks. They also love, care, and do what’s right. They realize they are frail human beings. They realize they make mistakes, but they also know that Christ is their strength. They do not accept the lie that they can’t be a strong man and a leader because they are a young (1 Timothy 4:12).

Tonight I was very proud of a friend of mine. He lead, not because he had to and not because he was made to, but because he he chose to. This friend has never been one to volunteer to lead. We’ve always had to push him some, but tonight he wanted to. It wasn’t anything huge, but leadership is leadership no matter how big or small.

Christian women want Christian men to be leaders. So many times I think that when the men don’t lead, the women feel the need to step in. I know I do. This isn’t good. Things go much better when men are in charge. (gasp! A girl just said that?! Yes, I did because it’s true.)

I (as well as other Christian girls) long for strong, young, leaders. We want guys around who will lead us in life and in our spiritual walks. Sure, we can get that from our youth pastor or other male leaders in the church, but there is something incredibly encouraging about a young man taking his God-given position of leadership…and leading.

When guys lead I feel safe, I feel respected, and I feel like things are how God created them to be. When you lead, you gain my respect.

 

Flirty Girls

Guys, don’t let us flirt with you. Or at least don’t engage in or encourage it. I have girl friends who flirt with anything male and it drives me crazy! Today for instance, “Jenny,” who is one of the girls that flirts with all the guys, was flirting with “Peter,”  and I could tell that he was thinking more of the situation then she was. Jenny  knew that he liked her, but still continued to flirt with him. She was leading him on, which is totally mean. I honestly felt sorry for the Peter because she does not like him in the same way. She wants the attention and flirting is fun for her because she gets it that way. It’s too bad she’s using him to feel good about herself.

When you sense that a girl is flirting with you and it’s just because she wants the attention, be nice but in the process don’t flirt. We all know how to flirt, and we know when we are doing it, so just don’t flirt back. When you do, it just gives the girl that more of a reason to do it, because her way of getting attention and feeling good about herself is working.

So, don’t let girls win on this one. I know it’s hard because you like the attention just like we do. But when you go along with it, it encourages us to continue to play with your emotions, and that’s just not cool.

Do Girls play games?

I’m not talking games like Monopoly, Guess Who, or Uno here. I’m talking those relationship games. You know, the ones where she plays Hard To Get or the game where she tries to make you jealous. So, the question is, do they? Unfortunately, the answer  is that a lot of girls do.  Girls, will flirt with your best friend to make you jealous or ask for your brothers phone number to make you mad. The one that confuses me the most though is when you like her, she knows it, and yet she still plays games. I’m like “uhh..Am I missing something?”

It’s pretty pointless really. If somebody has to make someone jealous in order to date them, what’s the point? Who wants to have a relationship with somebody that was built on manipulation? I sure don’t! But the reason girls do it is because, a lot of times, it works. They want the (temporary) satisfaction of having a boyfriend so they do what they can to get one. Most of my girl friends who have played hard to get or made him jealous, have succeeded in their “mission” to get the guy.

Just like every other post, not all girls do this. I don’t, and I know a lot of other girls who don’t! But still, there are those who do. Just don’t react how she wants you to. Please. It’s best for both of you. Plus, you don’t want to be with a girl who’s going to play these games. Do you?

And remember, dial 911 in an emergency, smile often, and always put the toilet seat down :D

Later!

A Girls Self-worth

I am recycling a post from a few months ago because this topic has really been in my head lately. I was going to write another one but then realized that I was saying exactly the same thing :P So I just decided to repost this one with a few add ons and edits! :)

Can I be completely honest here? Good, because I’m going to anyway :P You have the power to cause a  girl to  have self-image problems, feel worthless, have eating disorders, and  have a low self-esteem. But you may be saying “whoa whoa whoa Kelly! Are you saying that these things are my fault?!”  No, I’m not,  but you can be the cause at times. You may be thinking that I am being a little dramatic, right? I mean how do you have control over this one? Well, I’m going to tell you :)

I have heard guys tell girls that they are fat, or ugly or both! I just want to smack those guy! You don’t say something like that to a girl! A lot of girls will act like it doesn’t matter, like it doesn’t bother them. But in all reality it does. Our society tells girls to be as thin as possible and as pretty as possible. This means that girls end up looking like a toothpicks with a head. When you bash what we look like it only affirms what the movies and magazines are telling us, that we aren’t beautiful the way we are. That is one of the biggest lies girls are told! We need our guy friends do be affirming us, not affirming what we look like. (although the occasional “you look nice” or “I like that shirt” when you mean it is appreciated! haha)

There are girls out there who don’t have self-image issues, I don’t want to make it sound like ALL girls struggle with it, but every girl has been told the lie that there is somebody else out there who is more beautiful and that they will never measure up! We are told that perfection is the only way we will ever be worth something. The problem with that is, is that perfection is impossible. Therefore, the lie sets in that we will never be worth anything.

I have guy friends that joke about girls weight around them. For example, they will say something like “move over chubs” and I know they don’t mean it because they never do it to a girl who is overweight, but you never know what’s going on with that girl. Maybe she thinks she’s overweight and you saying that just affirmed that lie in her head. I had a guy friend say something joking like that to me and I said “That’s mean” and he said “Kelly, you know I wouldn’t say it if it were true!” I know he didn’t mean it, but for a second it hurt, and because I said something about it he affirmed in me that it wasn’t true, but most girls won’t call you on it. They will just think “He’s right. I am fat.” Whether that results in something as serious as an eating disorder or not, her self-esteem just dropped a little and she may be a little more conscious of the things she doesn’t like about herself, rather than the things she does like. That’s when insecurity and the feeling worthlessness start to work their way in. This is huge for girls! So many girls think they are ugly and therefore think they are worthless. How sad is that?

You are not the only cause of what goes on with a girls self-esteem and self-worth, I blame society and media for a lot of it, but sometimes you don’t help. Try to be a little more conscious of what you say. Just like you want us to do (or not do) things to help you out, we also would love it for you to do the same! :D