The Girl translator

So, I’m going to start a new thing called “The Girl Translator.” I will try to think of things girls say and tell you what we mean by them. The thing is, sometimes girls try to give you hints because we don’t want to hurt you or make ourselves look bad. With that being said here comes the first one…

Scenario:

You meet a girl in class and hit it off. You have no mutual friends and never run into each other, so the only way to hang out is to be intentional about it. You exchange phone numbers, add each other on facebook, or do whatever it is that you do to communicate, and you message her saying something like “Hey! Want to hang out sometime this week?”

Stop.

If her response is “Yeah! Sure, that’d be fun.” It means that she might interested in getting to know you as more than just a friend.

If her response is something like, “Sure, let’s get a group together and do something!” It’s translated into, “I really do want to hang out with you and get to know you! But I don’t like you as anything more than a friend so I am going to hang out with you, but only, with other people so I don’t lead you on.”

A lot of girls don’t like being straight up because they don’t want to hurt you. Getting a group together is her way of dropping a hint that she’s not interested without coming across as a jerk.  Giving you hints is our way of trying to get out of saying “I don’t like you as anything more than a friend…” The problem with this is that, for the most part, you guys don’t pick up those hints.

What are something girls say/do that you want to understand? I hope this helped in understanding us a little bit more!

Wait. Trust. Seek Him.

I think God uses singleness to draw us closer to Him. In the moments where I feel like I need a guy or that I want a relationship, I feel a tug from God where He says “Come back to me. I’ve got what you need.”  I have to re-adjust my thinking and move toward Him again. It’s then that we become more content in our relationship status. Trying to trust that God’s plan is better than our own. And it is better, it’s just hard to see.

This is definitely easier said than done. If you’re single and you go somewhere and all of your friends are dating/married, you want what they have. We almost look at God and go “See that God? I want that. If you could throw some my way THEN I’d be content.” But God wants us to use this time to solidify our relationships with Him. This time can be used to grow and prepare. But remember, no one said it would be fun all the time. Loneliness and longing for someone does come and that’s not bad! It’s what we do with it. Seek the Lord with all of your heart! (Deuteronomy 4:29-31)

Wait for the Lord; Be strong, and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord. (Psalm 27:14)

Pray that God would make you content in your singleness so that He can use you! Waiting on God’s timing is something I struggle with in every aspect of my life. Whether it’s relationships, work, college, etc. I’m always looking ahead to what’s next, when I should be focused on today and how I can glorify God. After all, it’s God who has put me where I am.

Just Wait. Oh how I long to graciously and contentedly wait on the Lord.

Devo #12

Pride. Ew, I hate pride. Too bad it’s something I struggle with. During volleyball this year, God showed me how prideful I can be, and as crazy as this sounds, I believe God took away my ability to play for part of this season. I went in to volleyball knowing that we weren’t going to be as good as last year, and I knew that I would have to play my best all the time. The problem was, I got cocky, and suddenly  the thing I did best became the hardest thing for me to excel in. My pride was getting in the way of me glorifying God, but when I gave my season to Him and started giving Him the glory for the talent He has given me, He gave me back my ability to play. He kept reminding me of my sin though, and it seemed like whenever my eyes started shifting back to me, and how I was playing, I started playing poorly again.

I wanted this volleyball season to be the best, since it was my senior year, but we struggled. Looking back on the season I’m not mad that we weren’t the best (disappointed, maybe, but not mad). Actually, in a way, I’m glad because He taught me how much pride was in my life and He strengthened me in a time when I could not see Him. Realizing that God had complete control over every area of my life (including how I play volleyball), freaked me out a little bit. It had never hit home how in control He really is.

Pride is an ugly thing. It makes us believe that we can do things on our own. We begin thinking we are something amazing, when in reality we are dirty, broken, human beings who need a God to save us from ourselves. Good thing there is a God to save us!

Kelly

Girls are future, boys are now

“Kelly, girls are future. They think of stuff like what a guy will be like when he’s a husband. Guys just think of what’s going on right now.”

A guy friend of mine said this to me last week, and I was like “Woah, he’s right.” A girls mind can go  from “He’s cute,” to “Would he be a good  husband?” in about 3 second flat! (haha!). We are always thinking ahead to the future. I can almost guarantee every girl has thought about things like how many kids she wants, and what some of their names are going to be. If a girl likes a guy, she isn’t just thinking about how good-looking he is, or how funny he is, she’s thinking about their future together (or if there is one).

I really don’t have any advice for you on this. It’s just a little look into us. =) Hope you are having a good week!

I Don’t Get It.

So what is it that I don’t get? Well, it’s the pants.

Why do guys feel the need to wear their pants past their butt? It confuses me. Nobody cares what you boxers look like and you walk funny when you wear them that way. The one word that, in my mind, describes a guy wearing his pants too low is “Penguin.” Do you realize how awkward you walk when the waist of your jeans is not on your hips?

Whenever I see a guy wearing his pants like this he looks terribly uncomfortable. One time I saw a guy with his girlfriend and he was holding up his pants with one hand, and holding the hand of the girl with the other. When he stopped to grab something he had to let go of the girls hand because he couldn’t let go of his pants. I thought that was pretty funny, but at the same time thinking, “If I was his girlfriend I would have bought him a belt by now…”

Another time, while I was camping with some friends, a guy walked past our site wearing really big baggy pants that were falling off his waist. As he passed us he started running, as he ran his pants dropped to his ankles and he fell flat on his face. I have two things to say about this..

1) Is it worth wearing your pants like that?

2) It was one of the funniest things I have seen! I laughed so hard I was crying!

So, these are just random thoughts on the subject. Haha I just don’t get it, and I don’t see why some of you do it. Tell me why! I want to know! =D

More on Modesty

A lot of girls wouldn’t consider themselves immodest. While there a lot of girls who know that what they are wearing is showing off too much, there are also a lot of girls who don’t even realize it. You know what our thoughts are? We say to ourselves “Well I’m not as bad as her!” or when we are getting dressed maybe we will subconsciously say “I’ve seen worse…” therefore we call ourselves “modest” whether it’s the truth or not.

I have girl friends that will tell me “I don’t think I’m immodest..” and when you look at them, I say to myself  ”Well it’s not THAT bad I’ve seen worse.” But then I realized that we shouldn’t be comparing. What is modest, is modest and after that line, it’s immodest.

Let me also explain to you the extreme amount of work it takes to be modest, ok? Hopefully you will appreciate the girls who strive to be modest after you read this part! haha. When we walk into a store to go shopping and we start looking around we see all of the cute clothes there are. But then we try it on and it’s too tight or too low. Then we think “Bummer! It’s really cute!…But it’s not that bad..” We have to work at not letting ourselves buy into that lie. So then we go out and try to find a shirt to go under it or a shirt that isn’t so tight. I can almost guarantee you that if a girl is trying to dress modestly it takes WAYYY more time to shop for clothes (and if they are like me, they hate that part!).

If at all possible, I would encourage you to thank a girl you know that works hard at being modest. It can get kind of discouraging at times because we don’t think it makes any difference at all. To know that somebody appreciates it and notices it, is really encouraging!

Okay, I’ll stop talking about modesty now :P I think this is post number 3 on it! haha new topic next week!

PEACE OUT!

We are different? What? Nooo. Ok, yes.

Let me tell you how different you and I are.

-When girls see an attractive guy with his shirt off, we say “Wow, he’s really cute and he’s got nice abs” but then we move on. We might talk about it later with our friends if the subject comes up, but other than that, that’s the end of the thought.

-We can express emotions way easier than you can. According to one survey, the average woman uses 20,000 words a day, while the average man uses about 7,000. Why? Because we tend to be more emotional and we know how to express those emotions. Even when kids are little, the girls start processing emotions and talking sooner than boys.

-Girls tend to be more touchy feely with other girls then guys are with other guys. Don’t let this freak you out! haha If a girl sits on another girls lap, gives hugs all the time, or is just touchy with a certain girl or group of girls, it’s just her way of saying “you’re my friend(s) and I love you.”

-When girls are mad at each other/ don’t like each other, they usually are really mean. They talk behind backs, but yet usually in public act like they are friends. We are caddy. This is where I like how guys handle situations! You just fight it out. Throw a punch and you’re done. You are best friends again. Girls? No. Not going to happen. Girls hold silent grudges against each other. Horrible isn’t it?

-Girls send little hints that you are “supposed to get.” Guys just say it straight up! Way to go!

-Girls have do everything in groups!  If a girl gets left behind and a group of girls leaves to do something, that means they don’t like her. Guys leave each other all the time! It cracks me up because in a group of girls you just don’t do that or somebody’s feelings get hurt!

These are just a few things out of many!  What are some things you can think of? I want to hear your thoughts!

Here is something that will never change and that is the same for both genders…

You confuse me. I confuse you. The end. ;)

So what should you do?

After writing my last post called “Why do Girls Dress the Way They Do?” one of my guy friends asked a simple question. He asked, “What should a Christian guy’s response be to immodest girls?” This is a very good question, and I think guys have the right to say something about it…to a point.

If the girl isn’t a Christian, you really can’t say anything about it. The reason being: if I wasn’t a Christian I would be dressing that way too. I mean, why not? I would have no reason not to. But even though you can’t say something doesn’t mean you can’t do something about it. For example, look the girl in the eyes instead of her revealed features. Try to distract your eyes to something else. I’m not a guy and I don’t think I understand how hard that is, but please try.

If she is a Christian, I believe you, as Christian guys, have every right to say something, BUT how you approach the subject is REALLY important. In most cases girls do not want guys telling them they are being immodest. It would be embarrassing, but I feel you should still have a say.

If she is a really good friend and you feel she would be okay(ish) with hearing it from you, then say something directly to her. By “ish” I mean she will be mature enough to take it and understand why you are saying this to her. Make sure you say it nicely! We are girls, we don’t take stuff the same way you do. Try saying something like, ”I am trying to keep my thoughts pure and that shirt is making that pursuit of purity difficult, would you mind changing?” REMEMBER! Say it compassionately and nicely!

If you don’t have that close of a relationship with her but you do with one of her good friends, go to her friend and request she say something to her. It may be beneficial on your part to ask the friend not to reveal it was you who asked, but that may or may not stay a secret long…

Going to a woman youth leader or someone respected would be a good option as well. Depending on the situation, the parents may be your best bet. When you go to somebody besides the girl, make sure that you aren’t disrespectful. Make it clear that it is because you want to respect her and you want to keep your thoughts clean that you feel it needed to be brought up.

I hope this helps! I think Christian girls need to be informed by their peers when they are wearing inappropriate clothes. To hear it at a women’s conference or from parents can be like hearing “blah blah blah blah blah…” We hear it from them all the time.

One last thing. Girls don’t completely understand modesty. Because our minds don’t work like yours, showing off skin is no big deal. Try to be patient with us and help us.

***And to any ladies reading! If a guy (or anybody) asks you to change because they don’t think what you are wearing is appropriate, don’t get mad. Simply smile, say okay, walk away, change, and come back. They are doing it out of respect and love for you!***

Why Do Girls Dress the Way They Do?

     I have always known that modesty was important, that I needed to help out my guy friends, and it was something that was expected of me from my family. I have never wanted to dress immodestly but just within the past couple of weeks I have really begun to understand the vast importance of dressing modestly. Why? Well, I don’t want to do or wear anything that will make you stumble. It’s that simple. I want your respect and I want you to know I respect you. I also want you to know I respect myself and how I dress can show all of this.

     But why do girls dress the way they do? Honestly, a lot of  it is a self-image issue, a respect issue, and a love issue. It’s a self-image issue because the world is telling me that I have to be a size double O jean, have every guys attention, and do my hair a certain way. The way the world sees girls defines a lot of girls self-image. They aren’t a double O, not all the guys are attracted to them, and their hair just doesn’t work like she want’s it to, therefore she deems herself as hopelessly flawed and worthless. So in order to change that feeling of worthlessness,  she tries to wear a double O (even though that makes her jeans way to tight) and then wears tops that are revealing because she knows she will get a guys attention that way (even though that’s not the kind of attention she really want’s). She views herself as nothing unless she looks like the airbrushed model in the magazine, and has the attention of boys.

     It’s a respect issue because, like I said, she views herself as worthless, therefore she has little to no respect for herself. By flaunting her body she is showing that she does not respect her body or herself. To me, it also shows that she doesn’t expect the respect of you either, although that is usually a subconscious thing because girls are always complaining about the lack of respect that the guys show them. I just want to  say “Look at what you are wearing. Of course they don’t respect you.” But I have always held back haha.

     It’s a love issue. You know why? Because she can’t love herself so she wants yours. She can’t get it by being herself, remember? because she thinks she’s worthless so why would anybody want her? She can only get your “love” by flaunting the sex appeal. Usually the love issue always stems from something like the lack of love she has gotten at home. Maybe her dad wasn’t around, or maybe he was physically but not emotionally. Whatever the reason, she wants to feel love by getting the attention from guys. When you get the feeling that’s what a girl wants, for you to fill a void, that should be a red flag because you can’t fill it. It doesn’t matter how hard you try.

     I think that a lot of this isn’t processed by the girls while they are in it. But a lot of women say the same things I’ve said once they step back and look at their past, or even their present. Once Jesus is the main focus and HE is what they are striving to please they realize why they dressed and acted in certain ways; to please others not God.

     The bottom line is, girls want your attention and we know how to get it. We know that if we dress ourselves a certain way and/or act a certain way that we will get a guys attention. The question is, is it the right kind of attention? No, and the kind of guys that respond to this kind of behavior aren’t the kind of guys that any girl should be willing to lower herself to.

Summit *session 3* 2010

Well guys, I got back from camp at about 1am on Saturday night/Sunday morning. Let me tell you, it was one of the best things I could have done with two weeks out of my summer! The stuff we learned will last a lifetime! We had speakers that taught on everything from abortion to Islam, to homosexuality to evolution.

If you don’t know anything about The Summit, I encourage you to check it out! It is a Christian academic camp that teaches you why you believe what you believe and how to defend your faith. They go through all 6 worldviews and the 10 topics within them. For example, they would take Islam and then go through the ethics, biology, history, philosophy, etc. of the Muslim worldview.

Now, I know this sounds kind of boring…I mean 2 weeks of sitting in a classroom with some guys talking? Ugh! But it was such good information that you couldn’t help but be interested in it! And it wasn’t all sitting in class! We had free time in the afternoons and we played sports, hung out, played paintball, went whitewater rafting, toured the olympic training center, walked around downtown, talked, hiked Pikes Peak, hiked a mountain behind the Summit called Red Mountain, laughed, talked, played foosball (sp?), played NINJA, talked, played random games like “guno”, and have I mentioned talked? haha

Besides the activities and the speakers, the people who attended were A-MAZING! About 170 students ranging in ages from 16 to about 25 had the same goal in mind; to know our Lord and Savior more intimately so as to understand the Christian worldview better so that we can go out into the world prepared for the questions and challenges of this world. I will never forget the friendships I made in Manitou Springs, Colorado. There was no shallowness to the people there. We had a spiritual goal, and nothing could hinder it while we were there, only improve it. The conversations that we had simply encouraged and strengthened us! The friends I made have impacted my life so much! So heres a shout out to Brandi, Abby, Aubrey, Emily, Chan, Steve, Matt, and Justin. Thanks for the encouragement and love that you showed me these past two weeks! Thanks for being such a great examples of what true men and women should look like! I love you guys!!