A Girls Self-worth

23 08 2010

I am recycling a post from a few months ago because this topic has really been in my head lately. I was going to write another one but then realized that I was saying exactly the same thing :P So I just decided to repost this one with a few add ons and edits! :)

Can I be completely honest here? Good, because I’m going to anyway :P You have the power to cause a  girl to  have self-image problems, feel worthless, have eating disorders, and  have a low self-esteem. But you may be saying “whoa whoa whoa Kelly! Are you saying that these things are my fault?!”  No, I’m not,  but you can be the cause at times. You may be thinking that I am being a little dramatic, right? I mean how do you have control over this one? Well, I’m going to tell you :)

I have heard guys tell girls that they are fat, or ugly or both! I just want to smack those guy! You don’t say something like that to a girl! A lot of girls will act like it doesn’t matter, like it doesn’t bother them. But in all reality it does. Our society tells girls to be as thin as possible and as pretty as possible. This means that girls end up looking like a toothpicks with a head. When you bash what we look like it only affirms what the movies and magazines are telling us, that we aren’t beautiful the way we are. That is one of the biggest lies girls are told! We need our guy friends do be affirming us, not affirming what we look like. (although the occasional “you look nice” or “I like that shirt” when you mean it is appreciated! haha)

There are girls out there who don’t have self-image issues, I don’t want to make it sound like ALL girls struggle with it, but every girl has been told the lie that there is somebody else out there who is more beautiful and that they will never measure up! We are told that perfection is the only way we will ever be worth something. The problem with that is, is that perfection is impossible. Therefore, the lie sets in that we will never be worth anything.

I have guy friends that joke about girls weight around them. For example, they will say something like “move over chubs” and I know they don’t mean it because they never do it to a girl who is overweight, but you never know what’s going on with that girl. Maybe she thinks she’s overweight and you saying that just affirmed that lie in her head. I had a guy friend say something joking like that to me and I said “That’s mean” and he said “Kelly, you know I wouldn’t say it if it were true!” I know he didn’t mean it, but for a second it hurt, and because I said something about it he affirmed in me that it wasn’t true, but most girls won’t call you on it. They will just think “He’s right. I am fat.” Whether that results in something as serious as an eating disorder or not, her self-esteem just dropped a little and she may be a little more conscious of the things she doesn’t like about herself, rather than the things she does like. That’s when insecurity and the feeling worthlessness start to work their way in. This is huge for girls! So many girls think they are ugly and therefore think they are worthless. How sad is that?

You are not the only cause of what goes on with a girls self-esteem and self-worth, I blame society and media for a lot of it, but sometimes you don’t help. Try to be a little more conscious of what you say. Just like you want us to do (or not do) things to help you out, we also would love it for you to do the same! :D




3 responses

24 08 2010

You are so right–my guyfriends are really sarcastic, (Jesus-love them anyway) and they throw comments like that my way every now and then. And it always seems to be on a day where I’m hating the way I look. Big time.

Guys, honestly–she’s right. You don’t realize how much we go over every little insult you hurl our way, even if it was a joke. I remember stuff from three years ago that I’m trying to get rid of. It’s just how God made girls to be.

We’re really good at laughing at stuff and playfully punching the guy who said whatever they said and looking like we forgot all about it, but I know that inside I’m just burning whenever anyone says something like that to me.

If you’re going to make jokes about their looks, make good jokes. My one friend, who knows that I struggle with how I look, keeps making jokes about how if I turn sideways he can’t find me. They make my day, not going to lie. And all of them now try to make me eat junk food, telling me that I need it. :)

But I agree with Kelly. Praise them for their personality or talents, not how they look. It can be harder, and a bit more embarrassing if you get something wrong, but it’s better in the long-run, and you won’t be sending anyone home crying.

(Kelly, mind if I link back to this and write a post on the same topic?)

24 08 2010

absolutely not! :) go for it! but thank you so much for asking!

24 08 2010
…but words will almost kill me. « Throwing Pebbles

[…] Here’s the full entry from unavereage relationships. Check it out! […]

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