Sexual Healing

1 06 2011

This guy did an awesome job! I love it! He is deep in a very tangible and understandable way.

 





Beauty

27 02 2011

I recently asked some girls a question on facebook and wanted to share their answers with you! Our world constantly tells us how imperfect and plain we are but you can help change that. Here’s what some girls had to say.

What can guys do to make you feel beautiful and special?

“Standing up for you when another guy says something rude.” -Ivy

“For me, when my brothers and Dad give me a hug it definitely makes me feel loved and beautiful. It totally depends on the girl/love language, but when guys treat girls with brotherly love and respect and aren’t rude or perverted, when they build them up in Christ, ask what they can be praying about, etc.. it makes girls feel special/loved and beautiful in the right way. Its always nice to have someone tell you that you are beautiful, but it is potentially very inappropriate for a guy to go telling all his girl friends that all the time. haha I think this question is also contingent on whether you are talking about a dating relationship or a friendship. Because if you are in a relationship then a guy telling his girlfriend she is beautiful is totally appropriate. :-)” -Aubrey

“Geniunely caring when your struggling and just listening.” -Abby

“Just holding me when I cry-not talking or asking what’s wrong-just holding me and giving me a shoulder to cry on” -Brandi

“Noticing the natural parts of your beauty and saying it is always nice…rather than the comments that could be made about your jewlrey or the clothes your wearing.. sure those things make might make you feel good but I would rather hear about the nature beauty that every girl has :) … the parts that no girl has to try for.” -Stacey

“Being looked at in the eyes when I’m talking. That means the world to me.” Whitney

What do you think about what these girls had to say?





All My Life.

22 09 2010

I have grown up in a Christian home and what I’ve been told all my life, by pastors, youth leaders, speakers, books, etc.  is that I’m beautiful in God’s eyes; I have worth and there are solid Christian guys out there and I have to wait for the right one. Even though all of these things are true, it’s sometimes hard to believe. Christian girls lose hope in you. We don’t see the good guys.  We tend to see the “girl crazy” guys, and the ones who make perverse jokes. Our standards go down because we don’t think there are guys who live up to those standards, so we give up.

When I was about 15 I was quite dramatic on this subject and had almost come to the conclusion that I was never going to get married. To me, there weren’t any guys who were worth it. That’s a 15-year-old girl for you, right? But in reality, I didn’t have any reason not to think that. I didn’t know any solid guys who would live up to my standards as a Christian girl. Fortunately, I had men in my life, like my dad and brothers, who always showed me that solid Christian guys were not as extinct as I thought. Then slowly I started meeting guys who respected girls, and in turn, gained the respect of girls; the ones who can be friends with girls without strings attached; where you don’t have to worry about the awkward drama that some people bring into friendships. Then this summer when I went to the Summit, I realized there are, without a doubt, awesome Christian guys out there! It’s refreshing to know that you have peers with the same standards. What set these guys apart is that they know how to respect girls. They don’t make perverse jokes, there are no string attached to the friendships, and they genuinely respect girls. Once you respect girls, the rest of these things go away because if you respect us, you won’t make perverse jokes and friendships will be insanely important.

If you are a Christian guy and you want a solid Christian girl, you must be the type of person that you are attracted to. I know guys who say they want a girl who is strong in the Lord, one that respects men, and a bunch of other things, but they are not striving toward the Lord, don’t respect girls, and aren’t working at being men of God. Well, that’s not going to work now is it? A girl who was just described is going to have higher standards than that. Think about it.





A Girls Self-worth

23 08 2010

I am recycling a post from a few months ago because this topic has really been in my head lately. I was going to write another one but then realized that I was saying exactly the same thing :P So I just decided to repost this one with a few add ons and edits! :)

Can I be completely honest here? Good, because I’m going to anyway :P You have the power to cause a  girl to  have self-image problems, feel worthless, have eating disorders, and  have a low self-esteem. But you may be saying “whoa whoa whoa Kelly! Are you saying that these things are my fault?!”  No, I’m not,  but you can be the cause at times. You may be thinking that I am being a little dramatic, right? I mean how do you have control over this one? Well, I’m going to tell you :)

I have heard guys tell girls that they are fat, or ugly or both! I just want to smack those guy! You don’t say something like that to a girl! A lot of girls will act like it doesn’t matter, like it doesn’t bother them. But in all reality it does. Our society tells girls to be as thin as possible and as pretty as possible. This means that girls end up looking like a toothpicks with a head. When you bash what we look like it only affirms what the movies and magazines are telling us, that we aren’t beautiful the way we are. That is one of the biggest lies girls are told! We need our guy friends do be affirming us, not affirming what we look like. (although the occasional “you look nice” or “I like that shirt” when you mean it is appreciated! haha)

There are girls out there who don’t have self-image issues, I don’t want to make it sound like ALL girls struggle with it, but every girl has been told the lie that there is somebody else out there who is more beautiful and that they will never measure up! We are told that perfection is the only way we will ever be worth something. The problem with that is, is that perfection is impossible. Therefore, the lie sets in that we will never be worth anything.

I have guy friends that joke about girls weight around them. For example, they will say something like “move over chubs” and I know they don’t mean it because they never do it to a girl who is overweight, but you never know what’s going on with that girl. Maybe she thinks she’s overweight and you saying that just affirmed that lie in her head. I had a guy friend say something joking like that to me and I said “That’s mean” and he said “Kelly, you know I wouldn’t say it if it were true!” I know he didn’t mean it, but for a second it hurt, and because I said something about it he affirmed in me that it wasn’t true, but most girls won’t call you on it. They will just think “He’s right. I am fat.” Whether that results in something as serious as an eating disorder or not, her self-esteem just dropped a little and she may be a little more conscious of the things she doesn’t like about herself, rather than the things she does like. That’s when insecurity and the feeling worthlessness start to work their way in. This is huge for girls! So many girls think they are ugly and therefore think they are worthless. How sad is that?

You are not the only cause of what goes on with a girls self-esteem and self-worth, I blame society and media for a lot of it, but sometimes you don’t help. Try to be a little more conscious of what you say. Just like you want us to do (or not do) things to help you out, we also would love it for you to do the same! :D