The Girl translator

29 08 2011

So, I’m going to start a new thing called “The Girl Translator.” I will try to think of things girls say and tell you what we mean by them. The thing is, sometimes girls try to give you hints because we don’t want to hurt you or make ourselves look bad. With that being said here comes the first one…

Scenario:

You meet a girl in class and hit it off. You have no mutual friends and never run into each other, so the only way to hang out is to be intentional about it. You exchange phone numbers, add each other on facebook, or do whatever it is that you do to communicate, and you message her saying something like “Hey! Want to hang out sometime this week?”

Stop.

If her response is “Yeah! Sure, that’d be fun.” It means that she might interested in getting to know you as more than just a friend.

If her response is something like, “Sure, let’s get a group together and do something!” It’s translated into, “I really do want to hang out with you and get to know you! But I don’t like you as anything more than a friend so I am going to hang out with you, but only, with other people so I don’t lead you on.”

A lot of girls don’t like being straight up because they don’t want to hurt you. Getting a group together is her way of dropping a hint that she’s not interested without coming across as a jerk.  Giving you hints is our way of trying to get out of saying “I don’t like you as anything more than a friend…” The problem with this is that, for the most part, you guys don’t pick up those hints.

What are something girls say/do that you want to understand? I hope this helped in understanding us a little bit more!





Family

15 07 2011

I was out with friends for some half off appetizers at Applebees when the “girlfriend” of one of the guys got brought up.  He claimed that she “wasn’t his girlfriend” and after that comment, the typical “oh yeah, sure she’s not” conversation proceeded. When someone asked when she was coming in to town to visit, I was quick point out that no one brings a girl home without dating her.  I teased him about it a little bit but then his response stopped me. He said “Actually, I really want to know what my family has to say before we start dating.” Stop. Take a note. This rocks!

If your family is even slightly close to each other, they know you better than anybody. They can usually tell right away if she, or in my case he, isn’t good for you. Take their advice and listen to what they have to say!

It’s respectful and shows the character of the guy when he wants to know what the people closest to him have to say. It means he’s not blindly getting into anything based only on emotions; he’s taking it seriously. I feel like that is something a lot of people miss; the aspect of seriousness that dating should have. It should be the time you use to find out whether you are going to marry the person; not just play around with them.

Through the comment that “Steven” made, he gained my respect. I think the way he is handling the relationship is awesome and very encouraging! I also felt bad about teasing him because my thought was “oh, he’s just another guy afraid of commitment and doesn’t know what he thinks about it all.” When the reality was the exact opposite! So, “Steven”, if you read this…Sorry about that! :)





Wait. Trust. Seek Him.

3 04 2011

I think God uses singleness to draw us closer to Him. In the moments where I feel like I need a guy or that I want a relationship, I feel a tug from God where He says “Come back to me. I’ve got what you need.”  I have to re-adjust my thinking and move toward Him again. It’s then that we become more content in our relationship status. Trying to trust that God’s plan is better than our own. And it is better, it’s just hard to see.

This is definitely easier said than done. If you’re single and you go somewhere and all of your friends are dating/married, you want what they have. We almost look at God and go “See that God? I want that. If you could throw some my way THEN I’d be content.” But God wants us to use this time to solidify our relationships with Him. This time can be used to grow and prepare. But remember, no one said it would be fun all the time. Loneliness and longing for someone does come and that’s not bad! It’s what we do with it. Seek the Lord with all of your heart! (Deuteronomy 4:29-31)

Wait for the Lord; Be strong, and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord. (Psalm 27:14)

Pray that God would make you content in your singleness so that He can use you! Waiting on God’s timing is something I struggle with in every aspect of my life. Whether it’s relationships, work, college, etc. I’m always looking ahead to what’s next, when I should be focused on today and how I can glorify God. After all, it’s God who has put me where I am.

Just Wait. Oh how I long to graciously and contentedly wait on the Lord.





Desperation

11 03 2011

Love doesn’t come out of desperation, period. -Chad Eastham

For most of us, I would assume, see this quote and think, “Of course it doesn’t!” But if we were to step back and take a look at our own lives, how many times have we so desperately wanted love that we were willing to do anything to get it? Whether it’s a dating relationships or even friendships, we long to connect with people. I can remember being so desperate for friends when I was younger that I became something I never wanted to be. I was desperate. I conformed to what they wanted me to be so that I could have the “love” and “companionship” of a group of girls. I’m glad I didn’t chose a different group of people or I would have really gotten myself into trouble. But now I see that true relationships and true love don’t come out of simply longing and conforming. They come from being the person that God created us to be. Real relationships come from God.

Just because we want something, doesn’t mean it’s good for us and when we search for relationships out of desperation we are simply setting ourselves up for failure. Have you ever noticed the people who date around and constantly have a girlfriend/boyfriend are also the moodiest people you’ve ever met? They are “happy”, that is, until they break up. Then they fall into this deep hole that they don’t think they can get out of until they get into another relationship. This is not healthy! They seek love out of desperation.

We are relational beings and that’s how God created us! But he wants us to have good, healthy relationships that come out of real love for each other; not lust, infatuation, or desperation. In reality, the only way to get our relationships on earth right, is to get our relationship with God right. Even then there will be issues, but with God there is hope!